The Value of Letters

The Value of Letters: How Letters Influence our Communication

We started the evening with a reading of three letters from the book, Letters of the Century, America 1900-1999, edited by Lisa Grunwald and Stephen Adler. Several participants then shared personal letters or letter writing experiences. Here is letter that started the evening.

Thursday evening, April 5, 1900
Excerpt from a letter written by Joel Chandler to his son who had just seen that same day. (Chandler was a prolific author and created the Uncle Remus series of stories featuring Brer Rabbit and Brer Fox.)

“…We usually say more in a letter than we do in conversation, the reason being that in letter, we feel we are shielded from the indifference or enthusiasm which our remarks may meet with or arouse. We commit our thoughts, as it were, to the winds…I fear I am pretty nearly the only one now living who is willing to put his thoughts freely on paper even when writing to his own children. Whereas in conversation, we are constantly watching or noting the effort of what we are saying…”

We launched into conversation with our first question. Our conversation for the next two hours included an exchange of ideas, feedback, musings and reflection about whether letters were a lost art of “real” communication. Has the potential for losing connection with another person been brewing for decades? Are we now spending our time in conversation chatting online, our favorite coffee shop or church gathering?

What is the value of letters?

Letters are deliberate. They are created using a very thoughtful process. We slow down when we are writing a letter to say exactly what we want to express, using language in a different way than we ever use in person. For a father and son or daughter, the meaning of the words, the activity brings a new deeper meaning to the communication and the relationship, when neither may have existed before.

Letters are alive. Touch our heart in ways nothing else can. Appeal universally to all ages and for many reasons. “Once it is down on paper, the words are alive.” For the most personal letters, we hide them away in secret places or sometimes burn them so they can never be found.

Letters keep us alive and give us joy. We heard about a elder woman who stayed active and “young” in her church by making it a point to send letters to everyone she met to celebrate birthdays, She lost her husband years ago and stays active by keeping a supply of fancy paper, envelopes, cards and stamps ready to write on and send to anyone she meets or discovers that deserves some recognition. That is, of course, everyone she knows! Her greatest joy in life is knowing how much others appreciate being recognized and celebrated.

“Yes. Almost everyone in the church knows her and it is an honor to receive a card from her. She is such a revered and special woman of the church.”

Thoughtfulness and sincere language are more important than form. The act of handwriting or typing does not matter. What matters is the thoughtfulness and sincerity expressed by the sender. A healing touch, comforting thoughts, words of love, congratulations, celebration, news and information are straight from the heart.

Letters are more than pieces of paper. Letters are tangible and permanent. They are timeless gifts from the heart. They preserve memories and special moments in life. Unlike conversation, we can read them over and over again and feel comforted each time.

Letters get us into trouble. We have been “discovered” and suffered severe consequences from the words we put on paper. We are not alone. We read about Individuals with high profiles who created many challenges for themselves and their businesses.

Letters prompt us to take action. Letters can guide us and help us make difficult decisions. Our group all realized that “real” letters are so valuable, we all need to send more through the US mail to people we don’t correspond with regularly.

Letters create space when we need to communicate when conversation is not practical. “I wrote for five year to a woman serving time in prison. We wrote regularly and became great friends. Now that she has been released, we don’t write so much. We can call and talk to each other.”

“My niece lives thousands of miles from home and the rigors of American society.” She read from her letters preserved in a hardbound book. ‘I am appreciating where I am today. Sleeping under the stars is normal. Listening to the birds at midnight is normal. Eating out a communal bowl is normal and being one of the village people is normal. I appreciate this place because there will be a day when I leave and have to wear professional clothing once again and live in a traditional city and I will miss all that I appreciate today.’

Letters peak our excitement for checking our mailbox. We all share the excitement of checking the mailbox to see what letters we have received. The letter we can hold in our hand and wonder what news it holds for us: love letter, congratulations, sympathy, or the acceptance into ___. Do we open the letter right away or do we sit curious with anticipation and wonder?

Where is the letter from? Stamps are on letters. Where is our letter from? What is the design of the postage stamp? Do we save our envelope for the stamp or clip the postage and discard the envelope?

How Letters Have Changed
We agreed that as a society we all still send letters and cards through the US mail, though not as many. Yet, through electronic communications, more people send more letters now than ever before. Now our letters are sent email or “posts” on social and business networking websites.

One to one relationships remain the core of letter writing. Our group identified a fundamental difference in letters from one person to another and from one person to the electronic connected world. Letters in their purest form sent through the US mail to one person communicate to that one person. The sender is sharing directly what they want the receiver to know. There is a relationship that forges the connection and prompts a response from the sender.

Electronic communication increases letter writing. “It is tough to get my students to write their essays. Then I talk about what they write online and they write beautifully!” With the ease of electronic communication, self-expression is easy. Anyone can bring their voice forward to worldwide and unknown audiences all the time, anytime. People correspond who would normally not write anything.

Individuals write and post electronically because they are raising their voice to be heard by the masses. This is their call to say, “here I am” listen to me. I exist in the world and I want /need something from those who can read my words. There is no relationship initially between the sender and the unknown mass of receivers. The connections are outcomes of a shared platform. Real relationships may develop as one to one communication continues.

The Cards and Letters We Don’t Want to Receive
Imprinted cards. Everyone in our group loves to receive Christmas and holiday cards and no one receives as many as we used to in years past. The cards we receive and don’t appreciate are imprinted and sent without personal notes or our names handwritten on them. We want cards that have some personal note or message that reflects “I am thinking about you when I send this card.”

The annual Christmas letter may be easy for us to write, duplicate and send off to everyone on the card list, what we are really looking for is a direct connection with the sender. Although, Christmas letters are better than no communication at all, our group is more interested in seeing the sender in relationship with us. Photocopied letters to a mass mailing are not the ones we keep and cherish.

Comments...
We open this as dialog for comment. What experience do you have with the value of letters? Please join Conversation Café next session: “Keeper of the Flame: Preserving Your Family’s Stories”