Everyone offers such different collections and various ways to define their collections. None of us believed we are ready to showcase our finds on Antiques Roadshow. We don't have thousands of anything. We do appreciate what we have and for the memories it provides.
Archivists tell us we use keepsakes to stimulate memory, especially to trigger fond memories. Even when the artifact does not prompt us to provide a complete record of our past, it is vital to our understanding of the past.
Our conversation led us to interesting reflections about ourselves and our treasures. What is it that people collect? Do the "rich and famous" have different values about collecting than others? Are collections bigger, smaller? And what happens to the collection when the collector passes on?
I shared one of my dozen shadowbox frames with mounted seashells and original poetry. Collecting shells is my passion. I have large shells on display on shelves, on a glass dish and smaller ones in plastic boxes. My shells come from southern California seashores and the shell shop in La Jolla, and other places. They remind me of the sea and the tides, the salty air and the tidepools where life exists in a constant state of change.
Another item shared was a full color Gone With the Wind original movie program and ticket stubs from Dec. 31, 1939. (My parents' second date.) Our conversationalists also collect stamps, representing a microcosm of American life in each one. We collect rocks to decorate our garden and books to fill our minds. We collect art to enjoy and inspire us.
That led to the question: How does what we collect reflect who we are? We consider our appreciation for the natural environment, for beauty and for knowledge. Some people collect for the money. We collect because we want to.
For those of of us who have lost loved ones, collectibles sometimes fill up the space where a person once stood. We talked about collections from our lifetime that were lost. All that remains is the memory of what we had.
One conversationalist said, "We enjoy other people's collections in their homes or businesses. We don't necessarily want those collections in our homes to live with everyday."
Another topic we discussed was holiday collecting. The elaborate Christmas displays built up through the years and stored. The ornaments that were made as a child or young bride and hung carefully on trees through the years. Collections for Halloween, Christmas and other holidays always get bigger!
Collecting has definitely changed with eBay. Now, instead of searching through garage sales antique shows and sales, we browse the Internet for what we want.
Collecting is fun or we wouldn't do it. Even if we have just one item. The meaning remains to the same 1 or 1000.
Sunday, July 19, 2009
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Keeper of the Flame: Who Preserves Your Family's Stories?
We began our evening with a story about an elder woman who refused to leave her homeland of many years. She lived in the deep South and the area was to be flooded when a dam was built. The old woman was the last person still remaining in the area. Everyone else had long moved away. Her home was a rustic wooden cabin with little to save. She kept a fire going outside the cabin and tended to it to keep the flame burning.
After many conversations and attempts to relocate the elder woman over a period of months without success, public officials were at a loss at what to do. They did not know and could get no information about any family members. Finally, a man who was familiar with the area and the people who had lived there talked to local officials and provided valuable assistance.
He said the elder woman was the “keeper of the flame” for the people of our territory. It was her responsibility to keep the flame in front of her cabin going. She could not leave the fire as long as she was alive. His solution was to go to the cabin and transport the entire fire pit, wood and all to another site where the woman could live out her days.
As soon as the man took the fire away, the elder woman came running after him with all her belongings, refusing to be separated from the fire.
As our group gathered around our “campfire” we shared stories of our families and their influence on American culture. Our families came to America as immigrants through Ellis Island, bringing our culture from various European countries.
We shared the stories of Sadie and Bessie; two amazing women who shared their family stories after they had reached 103 and 105. Everyone brought their own family stories and writing to share.
Who is the keeper of the flame?
Everyone who remembers passes on the story to the next generation. In some families, one person takes an unofficial role as historian. In others, everyone preserves what they can with letters, journals and photos. Sometimes, the story gets bigger and wider over time. Sometimes, the story is told in poetry. Others, it is an oral history narrative to capture precious moments. Still others snap hundreds of photos and mark each one with a caption. As long as there is one ember left, a question, a fragrance, the name of a street, favorite food, or the name of a car reignite the flame to keep family memories alive.
After many conversations and attempts to relocate the elder woman over a period of months without success, public officials were at a loss at what to do. They did not know and could get no information about any family members. Finally, a man who was familiar with the area and the people who had lived there talked to local officials and provided valuable assistance.
He said the elder woman was the “keeper of the flame” for the people of our territory. It was her responsibility to keep the flame in front of her cabin going. She could not leave the fire as long as she was alive. His solution was to go to the cabin and transport the entire fire pit, wood and all to another site where the woman could live out her days.
As soon as the man took the fire away, the elder woman came running after him with all her belongings, refusing to be separated from the fire.
As our group gathered around our “campfire” we shared stories of our families and their influence on American culture. Our families came to America as immigrants through Ellis Island, bringing our culture from various European countries.
We shared the stories of Sadie and Bessie; two amazing women who shared their family stories after they had reached 103 and 105. Everyone brought their own family stories and writing to share.
- We heard stories about family members riding with Buffalo Bill and Annie Oakley. This was our opportunity to separate fact from fiction related to their infamous past. We discussed the countless fictional and nonfiction stories that have been written over time to glorify their adventures.
- We spoke of Italian immigrants bringing their homeland traditions to weddings and celebrations when they were invited and even when they were not.
- We spoke of creating new lives with new names during the immigration through Ellis Island in New York.
- We spoke of families keeping and sharing secrets and the amazing ways that stories are eventually revealed.
Who is the keeper of the flame?
Everyone who remembers passes on the story to the next generation. In some families, one person takes an unofficial role as historian. In others, everyone preserves what they can with letters, journals and photos. Sometimes, the story gets bigger and wider over time. Sometimes, the story is told in poetry. Others, it is an oral history narrative to capture precious moments. Still others snap hundreds of photos and mark each one with a caption. As long as there is one ember left, a question, a fragrance, the name of a street, favorite food, or the name of a car reignite the flame to keep family memories alive.
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
The Value of Letters
The Value of Letters: How Letters Influence our Communication
We started the evening with a reading of three letters from the book, Letters of the Century, America 1900-1999, edited by Lisa Grunwald and Stephen Adler. Several participants then shared personal letters or letter writing experiences. Here is letter that started the evening.
Thursday evening, April 5, 1900
Excerpt from a letter written by Joel Chandler to his son who had just seen that same day. (Chandler was a prolific author and created the Uncle Remus series of stories featuring Brer Rabbit and Brer Fox.)
“…We usually say more in a letter than we do in conversation, the reason being that in letter, we feel we are shielded from the indifference or enthusiasm which our remarks may meet with or arouse. We commit our thoughts, as it were, to the winds…I fear I am pretty nearly the only one now living who is willing to put his thoughts freely on paper even when writing to his own children. Whereas in conversation, we are constantly watching or noting the effort of what we are saying…”
We launched into conversation with our first question. Our conversation for the next two hours included an exchange of ideas, feedback, musings and reflection about whether letters were a lost art of “real” communication. Has the potential for losing connection with another person been brewing for decades? Are we now spending our time in conversation chatting online, our favorite coffee shop or church gathering?
What is the value of letters?
Letters are deliberate. They are created using a very thoughtful process. We slow down when we are writing a letter to say exactly what we want to express, using language in a different way than we ever use in person. For a father and son or daughter, the meaning of the words, the activity brings a new deeper meaning to the communication and the relationship, when neither may have existed before.
Letters are alive. Touch our heart in ways nothing else can. Appeal universally to all ages and for many reasons. “Once it is down on paper, the words are alive.” For the most personal letters, we hide them away in secret places or sometimes burn them so they can never be found.
Letters keep us alive and give us joy. We heard about a elder woman who stayed active and “young” in her church by making it a point to send letters to everyone she met to celebrate birthdays, She lost her husband years ago and stays active by keeping a supply of fancy paper, envelopes, cards and stamps ready to write on and send to anyone she meets or discovers that deserves some recognition. That is, of course, everyone she knows! Her greatest joy in life is knowing how much others appreciate being recognized and celebrated.
“Yes. Almost everyone in the church knows her and it is an honor to receive a card from her. She is such a revered and special woman of the church.”
Thoughtfulness and sincere language are more important than form. The act of handwriting or typing does not matter. What matters is the thoughtfulness and sincerity expressed by the sender. A healing touch, comforting thoughts, words of love, congratulations, celebration, news and information are straight from the heart.
Letters are more than pieces of paper. Letters are tangible and permanent. They are timeless gifts from the heart. They preserve memories and special moments in life. Unlike conversation, we can read them over and over again and feel comforted each time.
Letters get us into trouble. We have been “discovered” and suffered severe consequences from the words we put on paper. We are not alone. We read about Individuals with high profiles who created many challenges for themselves and their businesses.
Letters prompt us to take action. Letters can guide us and help us make difficult decisions. Our group all realized that “real” letters are so valuable, we all need to send more through the US mail to people we don’t correspond with regularly.
Letters create space when we need to communicate when conversation is not practical. “I wrote for five year to a woman serving time in prison. We wrote regularly and became great friends. Now that she has been released, we don’t write so much. We can call and talk to each other.”
“My niece lives thousands of miles from home and the rigors of American society.” She read from her letters preserved in a hardbound book. ‘I am appreciating where I am today. Sleeping under the stars is normal. Listening to the birds at midnight is normal. Eating out a communal bowl is normal and being one of the village people is normal. I appreciate this place because there will be a day when I leave and have to wear professional clothing once again and live in a traditional city and I will miss all that I appreciate today.’
Letters peak our excitement for checking our mailbox. We all share the excitement of checking the mailbox to see what letters we have received. The letter we can hold in our hand and wonder what news it holds for us: love letter, congratulations, sympathy, or the acceptance into ___. Do we open the letter right away or do we sit curious with anticipation and wonder?
Where is the letter from? Stamps are on letters. Where is our letter from? What is the design of the postage stamp? Do we save our envelope for the stamp or clip the postage and discard the envelope?
How Letters Have Changed
We agreed that as a society we all still send letters and cards through the US mail, though not as many. Yet, through electronic communications, more people send more letters now than ever before. Now our letters are sent email or “posts” on social and business networking websites.
One to one relationships remain the core of letter writing. Our group identified a fundamental difference in letters from one person to another and from one person to the electronic connected world. Letters in their purest form sent through the US mail to one person communicate to that one person. The sender is sharing directly what they want the receiver to know. There is a relationship that forges the connection and prompts a response from the sender.
Electronic communication increases letter writing. “It is tough to get my students to write their essays. Then I talk about what they write online and they write beautifully!” With the ease of electronic communication, self-expression is easy. Anyone can bring their voice forward to worldwide and unknown audiences all the time, anytime. People correspond who would normally not write anything.
Individuals write and post electronically because they are raising their voice to be heard by the masses. This is their call to say, “here I am” listen to me. I exist in the world and I want /need something from those who can read my words. There is no relationship initially between the sender and the unknown mass of receivers. The connections are outcomes of a shared platform. Real relationships may develop as one to one communication continues.
The Cards and Letters We Don’t Want to Receive
Imprinted cards. Everyone in our group loves to receive Christmas and holiday cards and no one receives as many as we used to in years past. The cards we receive and don’t appreciate are imprinted and sent without personal notes or our names handwritten on them. We want cards that have some personal note or message that reflects “I am thinking about you when I send this card.”
The annual Christmas letter may be easy for us to write, duplicate and send off to everyone on the card list, what we are really looking for is a direct connection with the sender. Although, Christmas letters are better than no communication at all, our group is more interested in seeing the sender in relationship with us. Photocopied letters to a mass mailing are not the ones we keep and cherish.
Comments...
We open this as dialog for comment. What experience do you have with the value of letters? Please join Conversation Café next session: “Keeper of the Flame: Preserving Your Family’s Stories”
We started the evening with a reading of three letters from the book, Letters of the Century, America 1900-1999, edited by Lisa Grunwald and Stephen Adler. Several participants then shared personal letters or letter writing experiences. Here is letter that started the evening.
Thursday evening, April 5, 1900
Excerpt from a letter written by Joel Chandler to his son who had just seen that same day. (Chandler was a prolific author and created the Uncle Remus series of stories featuring Brer Rabbit and Brer Fox.)
“…We usually say more in a letter than we do in conversation, the reason being that in letter, we feel we are shielded from the indifference or enthusiasm which our remarks may meet with or arouse. We commit our thoughts, as it were, to the winds…I fear I am pretty nearly the only one now living who is willing to put his thoughts freely on paper even when writing to his own children. Whereas in conversation, we are constantly watching or noting the effort of what we are saying…”
We launched into conversation with our first question. Our conversation for the next two hours included an exchange of ideas, feedback, musings and reflection about whether letters were a lost art of “real” communication. Has the potential for losing connection with another person been brewing for decades? Are we now spending our time in conversation chatting online, our favorite coffee shop or church gathering?
What is the value of letters?
Letters are deliberate. They are created using a very thoughtful process. We slow down when we are writing a letter to say exactly what we want to express, using language in a different way than we ever use in person. For a father and son or daughter, the meaning of the words, the activity brings a new deeper meaning to the communication and the relationship, when neither may have existed before.
Letters are alive. Touch our heart in ways nothing else can. Appeal universally to all ages and for many reasons. “Once it is down on paper, the words are alive.” For the most personal letters, we hide them away in secret places or sometimes burn them so they can never be found.
Letters keep us alive and give us joy. We heard about a elder woman who stayed active and “young” in her church by making it a point to send letters to everyone she met to celebrate birthdays, She lost her husband years ago and stays active by keeping a supply of fancy paper, envelopes, cards and stamps ready to write on and send to anyone she meets or discovers that deserves some recognition. That is, of course, everyone she knows! Her greatest joy in life is knowing how much others appreciate being recognized and celebrated.
“Yes. Almost everyone in the church knows her and it is an honor to receive a card from her. She is such a revered and special woman of the church.”
Thoughtfulness and sincere language are more important than form. The act of handwriting or typing does not matter. What matters is the thoughtfulness and sincerity expressed by the sender. A healing touch, comforting thoughts, words of love, congratulations, celebration, news and information are straight from the heart.
Letters are more than pieces of paper. Letters are tangible and permanent. They are timeless gifts from the heart. They preserve memories and special moments in life. Unlike conversation, we can read them over and over again and feel comforted each time.
Letters get us into trouble. We have been “discovered” and suffered severe consequences from the words we put on paper. We are not alone. We read about Individuals with high profiles who created many challenges for themselves and their businesses.
Letters prompt us to take action. Letters can guide us and help us make difficult decisions. Our group all realized that “real” letters are so valuable, we all need to send more through the US mail to people we don’t correspond with regularly.
Letters create space when we need to communicate when conversation is not practical. “I wrote for five year to a woman serving time in prison. We wrote regularly and became great friends. Now that she has been released, we don’t write so much. We can call and talk to each other.”
“My niece lives thousands of miles from home and the rigors of American society.” She read from her letters preserved in a hardbound book. ‘I am appreciating where I am today. Sleeping under the stars is normal. Listening to the birds at midnight is normal. Eating out a communal bowl is normal and being one of the village people is normal. I appreciate this place because there will be a day when I leave and have to wear professional clothing once again and live in a traditional city and I will miss all that I appreciate today.’
Letters peak our excitement for checking our mailbox. We all share the excitement of checking the mailbox to see what letters we have received. The letter we can hold in our hand and wonder what news it holds for us: love letter, congratulations, sympathy, or the acceptance into ___. Do we open the letter right away or do we sit curious with anticipation and wonder?
Where is the letter from? Stamps are on letters. Where is our letter from? What is the design of the postage stamp? Do we save our envelope for the stamp or clip the postage and discard the envelope?
How Letters Have Changed
We agreed that as a society we all still send letters and cards through the US mail, though not as many. Yet, through electronic communications, more people send more letters now than ever before. Now our letters are sent email or “posts” on social and business networking websites.
One to one relationships remain the core of letter writing. Our group identified a fundamental difference in letters from one person to another and from one person to the electronic connected world. Letters in their purest form sent through the US mail to one person communicate to that one person. The sender is sharing directly what they want the receiver to know. There is a relationship that forges the connection and prompts a response from the sender.
Electronic communication increases letter writing. “It is tough to get my students to write their essays. Then I talk about what they write online and they write beautifully!” With the ease of electronic communication, self-expression is easy. Anyone can bring their voice forward to worldwide and unknown audiences all the time, anytime. People correspond who would normally not write anything.
Individuals write and post electronically because they are raising their voice to be heard by the masses. This is their call to say, “here I am” listen to me. I exist in the world and I want /need something from those who can read my words. There is no relationship initially between the sender and the unknown mass of receivers. The connections are outcomes of a shared platform. Real relationships may develop as one to one communication continues.
The Cards and Letters We Don’t Want to Receive
Imprinted cards. Everyone in our group loves to receive Christmas and holiday cards and no one receives as many as we used to in years past. The cards we receive and don’t appreciate are imprinted and sent without personal notes or our names handwritten on them. We want cards that have some personal note or message that reflects “I am thinking about you when I send this card.”
The annual Christmas letter may be easy for us to write, duplicate and send off to everyone on the card list, what we are really looking for is a direct connection with the sender. Although, Christmas letters are better than no communication at all, our group is more interested in seeing the sender in relationship with us. Photocopied letters to a mass mailing are not the ones we keep and cherish.
Comments...
We open this as dialog for comment. What experience do you have with the value of letters? Please join Conversation Café next session: “Keeper of the Flame: Preserving Your Family’s Stories”
Saturday, May 23, 2009
Tourist in Your Own Town
Conversation Cafe launched Friday, May 22 with a conversation about being a tourist in your own town. We responded to the questions: What does it mean to be a tourist in your own town? What do you notice? What changes when you look with a fresh eye?
"The voyage of discovery is not in seeking new landscapes,
"The voyage of discovery is not in seeking new landscapes,
it is seeing with new eyes," by French novelist, Marcel Proust
Doing a quick web search, I found several cities considered tourist in your own town as a way to reconnect local residents with area attractions, restaurants, museums, arts venues and hotels by sponsoring one day of celebration. Residents are offered reduced pricing and even special transportation options to get from one place to another.
For individuals in our group, tourist in your own town was about recognizing what we love most about our community. Favorites such as shopping within walking distance, the way people giving directions point to landmarks to guide you along the way, unique architecture and characteristics of the neighborhood. We also discussed being a tourist in your own town is a way of observing the landscape a bit differently.
In my neighborhood, I notice curved and narrow streets lined with trees that follow up and down soft hills. There is always another mystery to discover around the corner or over the hill. Other areas offer open spaces where horses roam free. I have always thought Fair Oaks Blvd. winding through old Fair Oaks Village and then up the hill toward Carmichael and following curves to Arden Arcade on its way to meet J Street in midtown an adventure of its own.
Even after 14 years in Sacramento, I still find myself thinking almost daily, "I used to drive eight hours (from LA) to see what I can walk to in 15 minutes."
Our last question was when you have gone away from home and come back again to visit or live, what do you see differently? Has the character changed? Are the familiar landmarks there or have they been replaced? We collectively agreed, returning as a tourist, finding our way around does take some thinking. Even when things in town are the same, we have changed. Yes, it could be the other way around.
For those who did not join the conversation in person, please post your comments online to continue dialog on what tourist in your own town means to you.
Next Conversation Cafe: Letters from home, letter we send, letters we receive
Doing a quick web search, I found several cities considered tourist in your own town as a way to reconnect local residents with area attractions, restaurants, museums, arts venues and hotels by sponsoring one day of celebration. Residents are offered reduced pricing and even special transportation options to get from one place to another.
For individuals in our group, tourist in your own town was about recognizing what we love most about our community. Favorites such as shopping within walking distance, the way people giving directions point to landmarks to guide you along the way, unique architecture and characteristics of the neighborhood. We also discussed being a tourist in your own town is a way of observing the landscape a bit differently.
In my neighborhood, I notice curved and narrow streets lined with trees that follow up and down soft hills. There is always another mystery to discover around the corner or over the hill. Other areas offer open spaces where horses roam free. I have always thought Fair Oaks Blvd. winding through old Fair Oaks Village and then up the hill toward Carmichael and following curves to Arden Arcade on its way to meet J Street in midtown an adventure of its own.
Even after 14 years in Sacramento, I still find myself thinking almost daily, "I used to drive eight hours (from LA) to see what I can walk to in 15 minutes."
Our last question was when you have gone away from home and come back again to visit or live, what do you see differently? Has the character changed? Are the familiar landmarks there or have they been replaced? We collectively agreed, returning as a tourist, finding our way around does take some thinking. Even when things in town are the same, we have changed. Yes, it could be the other way around.
For those who did not join the conversation in person, please post your comments online to continue dialog on what tourist in your own town means to you.
Next Conversation Cafe: Letters from home, letter we send, letters we receive
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